New class policies
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Our new class policies
Mike S. Adams (archive)

August 14, 2003 |

Welcome back! It has been a long summer and we are eager to start another year at the university. Before we begin, take the time to read this memo carefully as there have been some significant changes in our class policies since last semester.

As each student already knows, our university has expanded its commitment to diversity in recent years. This movement towards diversity has been inspired by the idea that a quality education is best achieved by bringing together heterogeneous groups who share different perspectives on a broad range of issues.

The diversity movement has increasingly called into question the idea of absolute truth and, to a lesser extent, objective reality. The core concept of diversity was given heightened legitimacy with this summer's landmark Supreme Court decision upholding the use of race-based affirmative action in higher education. (See Grutter v. Bollinger, 2003). These new class policies were crafted in order to better promote the "compelling interest in diversity" that was the focal point of the Grutter decision.

In order to implement these changes, it will be necessary for each student to respond to the following questions concerning race, gender, and sexual orientation:

1. Which of the following best describes your race or ethnicity: a) white, b) black or African-American, c) Hispanic, d) Asian, e) multi-racial, or f) other.

2. Which of the following best describes your gender? a) male, b) female, c) undecided, or d) other.

3. Which of the following best describes your sexual orientation: a) heterosexual, b) homosexual, c) bisexual, d) heterosexual transgendered, e) homosexual transgendered, f) questioning, or g) other.

After each student has answered the above questions, the information will be transferred to an index card that will be used to identify the student's perspective during class discussion. In fairness, your instructor will keep a card reading "white heterosexual male" on his desk at all times. Students will receive credit for classroom participation only when these cards are displayed on the student's desk. This will ensure that other students are able to identify the perspective of each participant in classroom discussion.

Students will be asked to phrase class comments in a manner that reflects the perspective of their group without reference to antiquated notions of individual belief or opinion. For example, "we think" and "we believe" are appropriate introductions to classroom remarks while phrases such as "I think" and "I believe" are unacceptable. Please remember that we are not interested in you as an individual. Group identity is our sole point of reference.

Because of our movement away from the idea of absolute truth, there will be some changes in class grading policies. Specifically, each group's performance on individual test questions will be analyzed after individual scores are computed. When it has been determined that a majority of a particular group has selected one of the "wrong" answers, the entire group will be given credit for the question. In other words, if the other answer is true for the group, its members will not be bound by the reality of the group responsible for producing the test. Note that in this particular course, white heterosexual males will not have the option of appealing since they already have the advantage of taking a test that is written from their perspective.

Also note that students who are the sole representative of a particular group will automatically receive a score of 100% on every test since such a student always constitutes a majority of the group that he/she/undecided/other represents. While this seems "unfair" at first glance, it is justified by the unique contribution such a student brings to the classroom.

The rules concerning "cheating" will also be relaxed starting this semester. The idea of "cheating" places too high a premium on the notion of truth. Furthermore, it is absurd to claim that a person "stole" an answer from someone else. Ideas belong to groups, not people. Therefore, during examinations each student will be allowed to consult with other members of the group to which he/she/undecided/other belongs.

Finally, there will be no rules concerning the antiquated concept of "plagiarism." While the courts still cling to the notion that ideas are the "property" of individuals, the university has a more sophisticated view. Nonetheless, we are confident that the courts will eventually change their opinion on this matter. Although they are often slow, the courts always follow the trends of academic elites when re-interpreting well-established legal doctrines.

Undoubtedly, many students will have apprehensions concerning these changes. But rest assured that we have less to fear now than we did when we were individuals.

Mike S. Adams (adams_mike@hotmail.com) is an associate professor at UNC-Wilmington. Although he enjoys writing satire, his colleagues don't think he's very Swift.